Bobbi
"Because if they blindfolded me and they hid you in the United States, I'd find you. And if I didn't find you I'd find somebody else and I'd tell them about you."
- Albert Brooks, Modern Romance
Drunk
The silliest I ever saw her behave was back in 1985. She had recently moved into her very first apartment. It was a loft. I was already in bed when she came home and stumbled upstairs into bed. We laughed and rolled around and it did not take long for me to realize that she had been celebrating at work. You must understand that she did not drink because of her medication. One drink was multiplied by three in her system.
This was possibly the first time I had ever seen her in that state. It wasn't shocking but it was uncharacteristic of her normal manner. At one point, she grabbed the covers pulled them around her head like a arab sheik and said "I WANT OIL!" It made absolutely no sense in the context of the moment and we both burst out laughing. We repeated that line for years
Laughing Uncontrollably
The hardest I ever saw her laugh was during an episode of Star Trek. I like the show but I am by no means fanatical. It was on and we were watching it. Mr. Spock calls Captain Kirk on the visual intercom. Kirk answers but has his shirt off. I imagined Spock turning away from the screen in disgust. Much in the same way you would react if you walked in on someone changing clothes. I related this imagery to Bobbi and she lost it.
She laughed to the point of almost choking. She was laughed so hard she was crying. Then she calmed down and I asked "are you okay?". Then the image hit her again and she started to laugh uncontrollably again. This went on for a good five minutes. It just struck her the right way.
The Simpsons
Bobbi's two favorite episodes:
El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (AKA: The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)
Homer eats a super chili pepper and has a wild dream. Then he searches for his soulmate which turns out to be Marge.
Bart's Girlfriend
Bart dates Jessica who has everyone convinced she is the sweet minister's daughter. She's not.
Bobbi's favorite line comes at the end of the episode:
Bart: "What have you learned Jessica?"
Jessica: "I learned I can make men do whatever I want."
Brother From The Same Planet
Homer tries to make Bart jealous and adopts a "little brother" named Pepe from the Big Brother program.
Pepe: "I love you, Papa Homer."
Homer: "I love you too, Pepsi."
Pepe: "Pepe."
Homer: "Pepe."
"I love you Pepsi."
We went through a long period where we said this to each other frequently.
Did You Know?
We were together for eighteen and a half years and married for twelve and a half years. And with the exception of her one month business trip in New Hampshire during the Presidential Primaries; we were never apart for more than a day.
She liked to wrestle. Growing up she wrestled with her brothers and she missed it. Once we were a bit too noisy in our apartment in Eagle Rock. The next day the manager stopped Bobbi and asked her if everything was alright. They thought I was abusing her.
She also liked to bite. This is strange but she would take my arm and sink her teeth into it. Holding onto it for about thirty seconds. When she released me she had the biggest smile of satisfaction on her face. I suggested alternatives but she said nothing compared to that "real flesh" feeling.
She loved to have the back of her neck kissed and she liked it when I kissed her eyes.She adored hockey and stopped everything to watch the KINGS play. During the game she cheered like an out of control fan. In later years hockey became a bonding subject with her father.
Her father, Bob McNary, was a minister. He preached at the ARI Church then created the Beacon Light Church where he continued to preach for almost twenty years. He was also the local television sports and weatherman in Ft. Wayne, Indiana for many years. And he announced the local wrestling matches and owned and operated a painting business. He painted hotels and offices, etc. He was a ventriloquist and occasionally used his figure "Wally" to aid in his sermons. He passed away on September 7, 2002 from a rare liver disease. The same disease that claimed Coach Walter Payton. Pastor Bob's primary gift to the pulpit was his ability to bring ordinary men to the church. Men that had never even thought about attending were drawn to Bob. They related to his simple, no nonsense approach.
She did not like waiting for surprises. Often I would call home and mention I had "a surprise for her". If I didn't tell her what it was immediately it would drive her crazy.The bottom of her feet were like leather. Years of running around barefoot in the country had created a second sole. I firmly believe she could have walked barefoot across hot coals.
In addition to the obvious music we used in our show Bobbi listened to Blues, Toni Braxton, The Eagles and in earlier years Rod Stewart.
She had epilepsy. It was somewhat controlled through medication. She had been on the same medication since age twelve. Doctors were amazed that she was on so much medication and still able to function on a daily basis. She led a very normal life but occasionally she would become worn out or tired. Her seizures were usually one of two types: petite mall or psychomotor. Petite mal seizures consisted of her being still and staring out into space. She usually knew when these were about to happen and in recent years had learned to control them. Psychomotor seizures were a little more physical. She would move her arms and legs in a slow controlled fashion. The image of a person convulsing on the floor with their arms and legs thrashing is an extreme scenario. That is a Grand mal seizure. Bobbi did not have those type of seizures. While we did not hide this fact from people we were not public about it either. She never had an onstage seizure but she often performed after having a seizure or under the impending feeling of one to come. She refused to allow her epilepsy to interfere with her day to day activities. She was very strong in that way.She cursed like a sailor. Her language got so bad that she finally insisted we implement a demerit point system with punishable consequences.From her teens she was actively involved in politics. She walked precincts, ran phone banks and campaigns. She read the paper every morning and watched several news programs. Anyone who has ever discussed politics with her will attest to the fact that she knew her facts and information thoroughly.
Bally's June 21, 1995
This photo was taken at Penn and Teller's Show. Exactly one day after our five year anniversary. Teller comped us into the show and we were seated in the VIP booth.
Afterward Bobbi always carried this photo with her. I don't know exactly why this photograph was so special to her. Perhaps it was the way we looked or that we were having a wonderful anniversary in Las Vegas. I have come to believe that it was all of those things but most notably it is that our wedding rings are together.
On December 8, 2002 when I was thoughtfully choosing items to be placed with her I naturally planned to include this photo. However, somehow it was overlooked and I discovered it later. I realized I was meant to have this photo.
I have it with me always.
Of course now I have something much more permanent with me.
